Who Are You? Being Honest With Your Goals

We often think of achieving our goals in terms of the outcome, rather than considering the process we need to go through to attain them. It’s important to be honest before you begin. Trying to force something that isn’t true to yourself will never work.

Instead of asking, “How can I achieve my goal?” ask, “What could prevent me from achieving my goal?” This helps identify obstacles and develop strategies to overcome them.

Consider the following:

• Readiness and Motivation: Are you mentally and emotionally prepared to make a change?

  
  

• Alignment with Core Values: Does this change align with your core values and beliefs?

  
  

• Current Behaviours and Past Experiences: Reflect on your current behaviours and past experiences and identify potential barriers.

  
  

• Resources and Skills: Do you have the necessary resources and skills required?

  
  

For example, if you ask yourself, “Who’s the type of person who loses weight? Maybe it’s the person who doesn’t miss workouts or pays attention to their eating habits,” then you are focusing on identity rather than outcomes. Similarly, if you ask, “Who’s the type of person who plays the piano well? Maybe it’s the person who practices daily,” you are aligning your actions with your identity.

Tell yourself “I’m a pianist” rather than “I want to learn to play the piano,” and it will be easier to practice even for a short time each day because you are bridging the gap between your current self and your future, goal-achieving self. Likewise, tell yourself “I’m a healthy person” rather than “I want to lose weight,” and it will be easier to make healthier choices consistently.

You become more likely to stick to those goals because you’ve conceptualized them as part of your identity. This identity-based approach helps you integrate these habits into your daily life, making the process feel more natural and sustainable.

For better or worse, your habits embody the person you are or want to become. Every time you play the piano, you embody the identity of a pianist. Every time you work out, you embody the type of person who is in good shape. As the author James Clear writes, “Every action you take is like a vote for the type of person you want to become.”

At first, our actions may seem insignificant and we don’t see immediate results. However, they can reinforce the identity of who you want to become and motivate you to keep up the habit, rather than focusing on the outcome itself.