Tell me what you want, what you really, really want.

My wife and I were chatting while making dinner the other evening. “I wish I listened to more new music.” she told me. “Whenever I play music, it’s always the same songs I used to listen to when I was young and whenever Spotify makes a list for me, it’s always music from around  the same time.”

I remember reading somewhere that when we are asked about our favourite music, it is likely to come from the time we were at school or university, and that older adults know more about music from that period than current artists and songs.. A recent study* suggests this is due to the nostalgic aspect of listening to music we enjoyed during a new and exciting time of our lives. It makes sense for sure, but at the same time, I agree with my wife and feel we should be able to appreciate and enjoy new music.

When I was younger and heard the grown ups around me tell me how much better the music from their era was, I’d think, “I don’t want to be like that. I want to stay up to date with current hits.” That’s not to say I was going to love it all or stop listening to music I’ve always enjoyed, but just to be open to new art.”

Music platforms like Apple Music, Spotify, Vimeo and YouTube have made it easier than ever to access more music than ever before and yet we’re more likely to look for the songs we know best than play new artists.

In true husband fashion, I ask the obvious question “So if you want to listen to new music and so much is readily available, why don’t you do it?”

“I don’t have time.” 

“If I do have time, I usually listen to podcasts.”

“I do listen to music when I’m cooking, but I’m not really paying attention”

“I wouldn’t know what new music to listen to.”

This is where my behavioural change coaching hat comes on. 

While I can hear my wife share barriers and frustration, I also hear the questions she needs to answer to be able to do the thing she wants. Clearly time sounds like an issue and also knowing what to listen to.

Time is often difficult to carve out, especially for a new behaviour. We may find a few moments here and there, but are they in the right setting or mind set to work? Giving too much time to a new habit can be detrimental too. We need to start small and build up. Fortunately in this case, a song probably lasts 3 to 4 minutes. However, we also need to consider the time to find the song, load the song, make sure we have a speaker or headphones ready to listen to the song and so. This might not seem much, but any undue effort can be a game breaker.

My wife rides the bus home every day and she has 20 minutes to unwind before getting home. It seemed like a great opportunity for her to just sit back and listen to something without feeling she needs to be anywhere else. Great, but what will she listen to?

This is why preparation is crucial. Knowing which song you’re going to listen to beforehand is key. And while every song under the sun is accessible, looking through an infinite list is going to take a lot of time and effort. So where to start?

Well, where can you find all the latest songs? How about the Billboard 100? Okay, it may be pop charts and hit and miss to your taste, but it guarantees new music and most importantly, it is a start. If you’re into metal, rap, K-pop, it doesn’t matter, you can refine it how you like, but just pick something. Pick a number? 1, 19, 87, it doesn’t matter. Download the track and it’s ready for tomorrow's bus ride.

With any behaviour change, making things easier means that they’re more likely to happen. And the more they happen the likelier they are to stick!

*Jakubowski, K., Eerola, T., Tillmann, B., Perrin, F., & Heine, L. (2020). A Cross-Sectional Study of Reminiscence Bumps for Music-Related Memories in Adulthood. Music & Science, 3, 205920432096505. https://doi.org/10.1177/2059204320965058

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