Small steps for big change.

Ever started a new habit? Going to bed earlier, reading more books or preparing to train for your next big event? It’s all fun and games until that moment you’re truly tested. Then the excuses start coming in and you’ll start it tomorrow instead. Or maybe next Monday…

Man, if I had a penny for every plan gone astray.

We plan big and fast. Six packs in 6 weeks. Quit drinking and start running. New year, new you. It’s impressive stuff. We’re super keen and ready. So where does it go wrong?

When I first moved to Ecuador, I realized that I would need to learn Spanish very quickly. A tutor came to my house a few days a week and I was able to practice speaking every time I left the house. Within six months I was teaching Yoga classes in Spanish (or at least not English) to Ecuadorians. Although I was super nervous, I jumped right in and soon felt pretty comfortable with a new language.

So when I moved to Shanghai, I thought “Sweet, I’ll knock out some classes and be local in no time.” After four weeks of classes, I dropped out and have stuck to gesturing and using only two words ever since.

What happened?

Oftentimes we set goals too high and with expectations. When we don’t feel we are hitting those goals, it is demotivating and we give up. When I began Spanish lessons in Ecuador, I had no expectations. I just knew I wanted to learn enough for basic communication. Within a short time I could order coffee, talk to a taxi driver and buy vegetables at the local tienda. People were responsive, they encouraged me and therefore I enjoyed it.

Upon arriving in Shanghai, after feeling so successful in South America, I had great expectations. As I desperately grunted sounds that had no meaning and finding I could get by with a Chinese/ English translator app, I stopped. It was not fun.

Am I destined to never speak Chinese? No.

It was clear that I didn’t recognize my true motivation. “I want to learn Chinese.” is an epic task. Whereas I began Spanish with small, attainable goals that felt successful, I started Madarin with the very large expectation of being able to communicate quickly.

This happens to us all. No matter what our intention. We have to recognize that long term goals require lifestyle change. Breaking down goals helps bring us little successes that can build on one another.

The pursuit of greater ambition can slowly drain us if we fail to find enjoyment in our efforts to reach it. In order to find self-motivation we need to employ MEA. Minimum Enjoyable Action. A simple, small action that is rewarding enough to make you want to do it again. In my case learning Spanish, it was the wee things, like buying something or asking for something and getting a response that kept me motivated. These small gratifications create drive to continue and are the building blocks of adherence to the game plan.

How do you get these new habits to stick?

BJ Fogg, director of the Behaviour Design Lab at Stanford University, suggests using habits we already have as triggers to start new ones. He often uses the example of teeth flossing. After his usual routine of brushing his teeth, he then flossed one tooth and congratulated himself. Rather than trying to start a habit of flossing all his teeth at once, the idea is that we use anchors or old habits to foster a new habit first and slowly increase it. As flossing became a habit of its own, he was then able to floss more, until he can say with certainty “I am a tooth flosser!” We can do the same. What’s your goal? “I am a runner”, “I am a writer”.

How many people have failed a new diet or exercise plan, by trying to do too much too soon? It is by finding how to bring new behaviours into our lives so they are a true part of our day that they begin to stick.

Another classic fail; is allowing procrastination to kick in. You know, Monday morning 5.30am, first day of the new gym workout. Your alarm goes off and you hit the snooze button. Mañana mañana.

Planning.

So how do we make it easier? We are like water. We want to take the path of least resistance. The thought of getting up, finding our gym clothes, getting some coffee made is all too much. Taking a moment to plan ahead can be the fire up the arse that we need to get going. Something as simple as having your clothes laid out, the coffee ready to just hit the button and your bag at the door the night before, takes little time and makes a big difference.Take the stress off yourself and make it easy.

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Two-minute Rule.

Sometimes, even when you are prepared, the thought of stepping out of the door and taking off on that 3 mile run seems daunting. You want to eat some fruit, but the chocolate cake looks more tempting. You have to write an overdue report that seems like a nightmare. That’s when the two-minute rule comes in. Two minutes. Put your shoes on and go run for just two minutes. Take two minutes to eat that apple. Sit down and start writing that report for just two minutes.

It’s getting started that often stops us. Chances are after two minutes you’ll keep going. In two minutes you’re already into your first mile. In two minutes you finished that piece of fruit. In two minutes you’re still writing and hopefully in a flow.

Using simple methods, we can introduce new habits into our day-to-day lives. As these become more ingrained, it is easier to stay motivated and take our goals to further limits. Here’s to tiny steps and small victories.

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